Shortest horror story ever.
Posted on August 29th, 2010 at 12:18 am by peter

There was a guy watching tv. He was the last man on earth. Then there was a knock on the door.

Posted on August 30th, 2009 at 4:22 pm by peter

Bob thinks therefore he is. Bob is so he should be able to do what he wants. But bob can’t do what he wants because some people decided that to do what you want is to be what you feel. And feeling is but an unnecessary emotion used to blind your vision through hazy eyes and unclear definition to see what you cant do but to instead do what you see as the clear path that takes a wrong turn and hits a road block which appears to be unnecessary due to the fact that the road was perfectly fine without having to fix a few potholes. A pothole is but a hole in something we take for granted but prefer to be clear so as to identify our irrelevant and imaginary superiority over all else that is not us. US is a word used to define what we think of ourselves so as to make a group around ourselves that is like ourselves so we throw away all feelings of being without. Without is the partial opposite of being in a state of with. With what is unclear since we always forget what is WITH and only bring sight to what is without since we always think we will always be with despite always being a little bit less with then we were when you were with much. I am always WITH bob as long as bob IS. To be without bob is for bob to be not in a state of IS. Bob does what he can through me. What bob can do he wants to do as he cant do much because he is only in a state of IS when I choose to be in a state of WITH. I choose to be in a state of WITH alot.

good house keeping
Posted on June 23rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm by peter

to keep a good house you need to write it, then publish it before you meanie face jr aunt cant steal it! which she will! she will slowely earn you trust…. then she will steal it! she will steal it like a person who cant write a good metaphor/simile! she will urge you to drop out and become one of those people who can see the future! like a sorta oricle thing. LOL, which she needs to be taught to do……  but then you realize you really cant see the future and you quit to be a airline pilot. then your sorta thankful for the whole write brothers thing cause they gave you a job. so you build a time machine to go into the past and thank them. then you realize your pretty smart and you become a scientist. and you realize that you didnt really need the write brothers. so you destroy your time machine as you dont need it anymore.  then you realize thats the only thing you could make. you fail as a scientist and you go poor and die of a alien attack. the attack lasted 4 years though. that means if you had your time machine you could have went back in time and told yourself that you could have saved mankind. lucky all the lesbians survived.

so you can thank your aunt for killing all men. then thank whoever let women have babies with other women. then thank me with a gift basket of minimuffins for warning you.

my address is 1600 penselvania AVE

stupid story 2
Posted on September 27th, 2007 at 3:26 pm by peter

the poopy bread!

now we have all heard of white bread and some of us might have heard of wheat bread but has anyone heard of poopy bread?  yes!

poopy bread is the sensation that is sweeping the nation! people all across america (exluding canada cause they wierd) are tasting this new taste of amazing value and vertue. if u think you have seen good poopy bread, then try it with some mayo and holapeneos. yum yum. now what is poopy  bread made of? well in truth poopy bread is not made of poop at all. it is actually made of camals spleen. i know….

next time we go to egypt we need to eat some camals spleen!

stupid story 1
Posted on September 27th, 2007 at 3:24 pm by peter

one day in china…

one day in chinatown thier was this one chinese leader named ollie tabooger. ollie was bored after losing 8000000004 red pandas to a manacocker. he decided to make a army of giant cats to conquer sweden now conquering sweden was no easy task. first he would have to ask thier lunch(the dog(or as they would say the overlord of cats)if they could borrow some cats). so he went to his dining hall and asked his lunch if he could burrow some cats to attack sweden. the dog said “if you beat me in ping pong i will let it be done”. ollie said “ha! little do you know that i am the world champion in ping pong!”said ollie. so they went to  the national ping pong hall in the dwarven mountains to play ping pong. but when they got their they discovered that the dwarves were defeated by the cyclones! so they summoned the power of thor to smite those who go against them! so the conquered cyclones joined ollies army and they played ping pong. 


the match!

no one actually cares about the match so i will just skip it. the dogs one 8004 to -34000. so since 34000-8004=25995 they got 25995 cats. yay. then the chinese ate the dogs and took the rest of the cats. now they were ready to invade sweden! they moved thier army into position  when suddenly a huge army of giant pig came from venus and attacked their 400000000004 cats. the cats fight hard but the pigs are too strong! the cyclones are now ollies last hope. the cyclones pull out thier guns and started shooting down all the pigs. but the pigs were too great in number! the cyclones ran. they ran all the way to tralfamador where they mated and started a new race of tralfamadoreons. now back on earth ollie was selibrating his victory while playing ping pong and hopskotch. YAY OLLIE!