one day ug was writing a story on the bus ride home with his full keyboard cellphone. he thought of how the indians used the old number pad to type storyss for thier website. then out of nowhere the meaning of life jumped out and punched him in the stomach. then he kicked ug in his small kidney. now u may think that that is just a stupid story so he changed what the book said. just like they changed how alexander the great died. i mean we all know he was poisoned! why would the government honestly think we would believe that! ug was infuriated by this. so ug organized a million man march on parliaament. unfortainently he planned it on november 5th and they thought he was guy fox teaming up with naruto to destroy parliment and retake the nile while stopping the first bowl of noodles from reaching where they are going. this just made himself realize how much better he looks then inuasha(i think i spelled that right). but then the fsm came down and the native englishmen  in parliament thought he was buda and gandalf morphed together in a sorta twisty boomboom.  they attacked the fsm but he fought back with his hords of bicycles that he stole from santa! now ug was already in another magical land they call yeman.  now you may think this is all random but its not! cause in a few more moments ug is going to realize what he has been missing out on and go back to the us to breach the hallway of freedom formally known as the atlantic ocean but renamed cause the us could cause they are really strong yet not strong enough to fight another country. but since no one ever tried no one will ever know…………….. anyway……………..

ug had to convince bush that england was bad. so ug went up the steps of the white house and streight to bush and said “britain has wmd’s! and thier gonna use them against us!” bush said “no they dont thats a lie! but who cares! prepare for war!”!!!!,!!!!!<!!!!!(!!!)>

then hillary clinton walked in and bush left office for good. ug said the same thing to clinton. clinton said” prepare for nuclear war!”. and it was like boom boom boom end of the world boom. now see what clinton will do! you should be ashamed!

 One day ug was hunting chickens in Madagascar when suddenly, a huge wave emerges out of now where! He drops his chopsticks and climbs into a hole, he stays their for 20 years before finally he decides the wave is gone, now when he sees the environment it looks completely different. There are trees and bushes and it is hot! So he decides that global warming has happened, now why it occurs is controversial. Some people think the decrease of pirates caused the increase of temperature. But ug knows that when you are cold and you ride a bike for a long time you get hotter. So ug decides that to many people are riding their bikes. Only one thing can stop this, and only one person can stop this. And in that moment he decides who will stop this. Well not really, he takes a few moments to decide between chuck Norris, curios George and himself.  But he decides himself. He decides that he shall assassinate all bikes!           He must find and destroy all bikes, and for this he must need extraordinary help! Like Santa. Now how to convince Santa. He then thinks of a plan! A perfect plan! He goes to the north pole and tells Santa that he must assassinate all bikes! Santa of course said “no!”. but then ug said that it would work toward him if he killed all bikes outside of his workshop. Cause then no one would have a bike, he could just make a bike for everyone and he is ready for Christmas. So Santa agrees.            Now Santa has to kill all of the bikes in the world. But how? He knows there is only one way to do it. So he drops to his knees and prays, prays to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. So the FSM appears. He comes and asks what Santa wants. Santa said “I want you to kill every bikes out their! So the FSM thinks about it. Then he said only if you give ug 2000 pounds of TNT. So Santa agrees. The FSM spreads his noodly appendages and said “then let it be done” and disappears.            Now the world is in panic, all their bikes are gone and they have to wait until December 26^th to get them, cause you know that they are  visiting relatives and it’s not like they can ride it back. Now then Santa invites ug back down to the north pole and said “ok I dunno why but the FSM wanted me to give this to you” and hands him the TNT. Then ug said “yay” and as he is leaving he throws 2000 pounds of TNT over his shoulder into the workshop. In a quick boom the workshop is destroyed. And with that global warming is solved. Now this is not a true story but it is possible. This could happen if you wanted it to, just stop Christmas and no more temperatures above 120 degrees!

One day ug was jumping on the trampoline when all of a sudden, the ground starts to shake. And you know how it is. When something jumps of a trampoline as someone gets down from a jump the someone goes really high. So a meteor hits the trampoline and ug goes so high he starts expanding. Then he starts going back down. And on the way down he sees what is making the ground shake. Godzilla is fighting the British air force! As they charge so bravely into battle. He sees a single plane get knocked down to the ground. It hits the ground and blows up and the battle is over. Now he is thinking well I am going to beat Godzilla! I am going to beat him at his own game!

Now if you did not know, Godzilla is Japanese. So when Godzilla leaves wherever they are, (and to satisfy your hunger to find out where they are we will say Atlantis). Ug spends the next 3.37 days practicing Godzilla’s own game. Then he goes to Japan. He challenges Godzilla to his own game in a cool yet unknown way. Godzilla accept and they head to the arena. The judge steps onto the field and says that there are three rounds, each based on Godzilla’s own game. First round, each contestant must make 1thousand paper cranes while blindfolded. “ready, set, go!”. So they start making cranes. After 3.5 minutes they both are up to 998 cranes when godzilla realizes he might lose he starts throwing cranes at ug in a attempt of cheating, but since they make over 3 a second by the time the first one gets to ug he has won. Yay ug! Second round, each contestant must convince a American to try sushi. Ug is American so thinks this is easy, but the problem is ug will not eat one himself. So while godzilla is making his American beg for some ug is trying to convince himself to eat one. Godzilla wins credibly. Third round, each contestant must successfully stop a meteor from hitting earth. Ug laughs at this. He takes out his portable trampoline and waits. He thinks he is gonna win. But then he realizes godzilla is taller and will swat it away before it can get to him. So he says to godzilla “hey u big and meanie! Ya you. I am gonna beat you with my magic trampoline see it can swat away everything that goes within 1light year of earth!”. Godzilla panics and throws the trampoline into space. It hits Jupiter hard enough it falls back into a mars which explodes destroying everything in the galext but venus, earth, the sun and Uranus. (it actually does destroy Uranus but the gods bring it back cause its name is funny)

we believe in the flying spagetti monster, also known as the fsm. it created all of mankind. everything you found from the past was planted by the pastafarian. it is really spagetti like.

ok this is my new religion. please do not mock me or accept me, it is just the way i am.

the religion is the title,comma

ok so thier was a guy named ug. one day ug went to a art society of invisable little anteaters called matlebogs. he made a picture of a matlebog even though it was invisable and they got really mad and they were all like “you have no imagination!”. and he cried all the way home. so he cried in his bed for a couple of days before deciding to get a better imagination. so he went to orvile redenbacher. he popped up on his front door step with a few beanbag chairs. he was all like “omg! i have a bad imagination. so i have hired a few zombies to come and take out your brains! they will be here in a hour. then they will give your brain to me so i will have a great imagination! hahahahaha!”. then orvile said “you nooby nub! they will eat my brains! they will not give them to you!”. so ug was all like “nooooooooo!!!!’. and he then sided with orvil and the freaky guy on the burgerking commercials and they built a huge 213 story fortress. then a huge robot came and toppled it so he was all like “oh well”. then a few minutes later a zombie came with a banana peel gun and made everyone slip! then he started marching forword to eat orviles brain! then the king pulled out his mcdonalds food gun and shot the zombie with it. and of course mcdonalds food is like a million sea cows all ontop of you then king kong takes you to atlantis where you are forced to eat more mcdonalds. and of course it really just goes in a never ending cycle. so the zombie redied and

the end!

ok so thier was this guy names ug. one day ug decides his life is too boring. he had been playing his ps3 for the past 5 hours before he realized that he really did not like the ps3. he decides to china to see the circus. he gets on his private pogostick and flies to china. when he gets thier he gets of the plane just as a nuclear bomb hits that one guy that works for bush, ya know the one that no one really new what he did even though we all new he was the secret king of congo. so he was walking down the street to the circus he saw a sign that said “looking for a really good name! 1 million dollars!!”. so ug runs in and is all like “i have a really good name! i will sell it for 1 billion dollars!!!! then the guy at the counter said “sorry we already found some guy named joseph tate.”. then ug said “no you don’t understand! my name is really good!”. so the guy said “well spit it out!”. and ug said “my name is ug!”. “wow that is a good name” said guy. so ug sells his name for 1 billion dollars and is now named joseph tate. so he goes back home with 1 billion dollars and his new boring name, joseph tate. when he got thier he told his friends his new name. the problem was that none of them could pronounce it. so he is all like “well i will go back thier and get my name back”. but then his friend apu nahasipenapetalon said “they are no longer in china! they have went to thier home planet of tralfamador! so then joseph said well then i will go thier and get my name back!. so ug gets on his private pogostick and flies to tralfamador. he then finds the new ug at the local mcdonalds. then ug said “noooooo! mcdonalds is the worst place in the galexy! it is like a millions manacockers are eating you the having you turn into a humen ear and playing you like a drum!” but joseph went in anyway. he took one of the manacockers that was supposed to eat him and drum him and hit ug with the manacocker. then he took the old ugs name tag and went back to his homeplanet. his friends could pronounce his name for the rest of eternity. the end!

ok so one day thier was this guy names ug. he was a guy. he loved to play the worst games like cricket and marbles. so one day he was walking around playing with his little penguin friends. then he goes to one of his friends and said “i challange you to a marbles dual to the death!” and of course marbles is really hard to die while playing, so ug said “hmmmmmmmm. how could we do a dual to the death?” so finally he had a idea! now this is a good idea you should do this one as soon as you can! what he did was he opened a can of pepsi and left it outside. (it has to be pepsi as coke is to good and you should never have to waste one). so he left the opened can of pepsi outside. he went to bed after that. when he woke up he went outside to find a ton of ants all around the pepsi. he quickly went and got the guy he was supposed to dual. that went to the pepsi can and ug said to the guy “ok now we are going to put gun powder into the marbles and put the marbles, with with the gun powder inside into a pot. then the guy is going to hold the pot over the ants”. but what he did not tell the guy was that the ants were normal and did not like pepsi and were trying to burn the pepsi away! so when the guy stood over the ants, with the pot, filled with marbles, filled with gun powder, the ants burned the pepsi (which is like drinkable oil) and the fire turned blue due to the pepsi, which is like poison in a can, lited the gunpowder which exploded the marbled, which made the pot really hot, which made the guy fall into the pepsi and was all like “noooooooo, pepsi is like poisoned fire made of rubber after being left out for 10,000 years!” and he accidently swallowed the pepsi which is like poisoned fire made of rubber after being left out for 10,000 years and then being drank by some crazy mexican who then kissed a canadian who peed it out after eating dairy products which since he was alergic out and could not pee so it just came out his belly button and that is pepsi which he drank and died!

And then ug shouted,”hurry! i won!”

 THE END

and i am sooooooooo new to this so please forgive all the punctuation mistakes.